Giants and Stairs – Depression Is Not A Sign of Weakness

Giants and Stairs By Jason Ballard

“I start to feel like I can’t maintain the façade (disguise) any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?… I don’t know the answer; I know only that I can’t. I don’t want any more vicissitudes (ups and downs), I don’t want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.” – Elizabeth Wurtzel

Giants and Stairs

Giants and Stairs

We have all felt like this at some point in our lives, some even feel it now, the will to go ahead; to follow the path laid before us, is no longer an asset in life. We see the world as a race, a boxing match that we cannot win. We say change is inevitable (unavoidable), but when the world is a dark cloud, and the giants are blocking our way, telling us “No, this can’t be done.” or “you can’t pass, this is the end of the path.” Nothing changes.

The world around you becomes like an abyss, sucking every ounce of peace, love, hope, and happiness just out of reach. We are left grasping for straws, anything that will give us some feeling, some hope, something that will tell you that you aren’t broken, you aren’t battered, or bruised, that you’re not hurting, or there’s no reason to cry.

There is no such thing as a broken human, just human, we are all beaten, we’re battered, and we’re all bruised, no matter the form of the beating, no matter the form of the batter, no matter the shape of the bruise, we are here, we’re all up, and we are all down.

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The world as life is a staircase, it spirals downward, but on the same token it goes up too. We all, at some point, get caught in the slow decent into the black. Whether it be heartbreak, failure, hatred, betrayal, or just pessimism.

We are all fragile, and we all end up “broken” at some point in time.

Most people see depression as a weakness, and believe it means that you are broken, and the only to get fixed is at the bottom of bottle, or in a pew, or a façade.

“Depression: is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long.” – anonymous

If you have to cry, cry, if you prefer to write, write, if you are a singer, sing. Feel those emotions well up inside you, and let them go, run, walk, write, cry, talk; whichever suits you, just don’t go looking for happiness, you won’t find it, it’s not in the bottom of a bottle, not on the pew, and it’s not in the façade. It’s inside you, and it’s easy to bring out, just clear those roadblocks, the pain you feel is nothing more than your body saying, “Set me free.” The world is not a bad place, it is what you make of it. And once all that pain is on the paper, in the air, and on the pavement, you’ll see the sun is brighter, the grass is greener, you feel warm, light, dare I say happy. When the Giants try to stare you down, and hold you back, just look ahead, and walk right on through. When all the world is crashing down, stand tall, hold your head up, and see it through.

Through all the trials, and tribulations are shooting at you with weapons that you can neither see nor use, just remember, you have the greatest weapon of all, the power to look up that stairway, turn your body and walk back up.

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About Jennifer Johnson

I suffered with social anxiety and stress for years. I discovered what my triggers were and learned to control them. Hopefully some of the natural anxiety relief techniques I have tried, will also be your solution.

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Comments

  1. Jason, so many of us feel like this and you have put it into words perfectly.

  2. Why thank you Jennifer, I am battling feelings like this on a daily basis, they are the Giants and the Stairs, and I have learned that you can just walk right on past the Giants, and then turn around and walk back up the stairs.

  3. I’m walkin down those stairs right now, sucked into that hole.

    • Remember what Jason says…”you have the greatest weapon of all, the power to look up that stairway, turn your body and walk back up.”

    • All that needs to be done in order to do that is: write, walk, run, sing, or talk, anything that will help you get those emotions from your mind and heart out, no one has to see, the paper, no one has to know why you’re walking, or running, and no one has to be there in order to talk, just get those emotions out, and pinpoint why you are feeling this way, then work to change it.

      Wake up every day singing a calming song, breath deeply, put on your shoes, go through your day with one major difference, let the day be day one of the new you, the one who doesn’t care what others say that is negative to you, the one who gets up off the ground when you knocked down, the one who faces the day with your head held high and is saying to you, “no matter who does what, who says what, or what I am thinking, negativity will not hold me back.

      I AM STRONG, I AM POWERFUL, I AM THE KING OF MY LIFE, so why can’t I be happy! I WILL BE POSITIVE, AND I WILL BE HAPPY!” with the “I WILL” Attitude the world will be brighter, “I WILL DO THIS, I WILL SUCCEED, I WILL NOT FAIL!” say that to yourself, only then will you have begun to turn yourself around on those stairs, only then will you walk past those Giants. Remember if you feel a bit anxious about doing this “Anxiety is fear of one’s self” don’t be scared, get right up off the ground and ascend above your expectations, and excel at being you, never let negative thinking, or negative people stop that “I WILL” attitude.

      • I completely agree with my previous statement… Hello, Jennifer, been a long while. Not even sure what to say…

  4. Hey, Jennifer
    Could you send me a skype request? That is if you want to…

    • Jennifer Johnson says

      Sorry Jason, I don’t give out my Skype address or personal email address anymore. I only speak to people on my website now. I hope you understand.

  5. Indeed I do understand, and I apologize. Hopefully I some day soon I could post again on this site.

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